Take me to your Motherboard

So here I am typing a blog on my Ipod...my fucking Ipod! I recently lost someone really close to me and I am having a real hard time adjusting. The day my computer died, is the day a piece of me died. Never do I feel more dependent on technology as i do when I have no Internet access. How will I adjust to this 20 yr step back in technology? Talking to some gifted people (nerds) I found out that my Motherboard was fucked. Motherboard? WTF is this a L Ron Hubbard book? And where is this Motherboard, right next to the flux capacitor? Or maybe the Sasquatch really does drink Kokanee...

Upon further investigation there was no Motherboard in the dictionary. A REAL dictionary, not some urban piece of crap dictionary, not wikipedia, a real life paperback dictionary. Published in 1954....shit. Maybe the nerds are honorable people, maybe they can be trusted. Ahh the Motherboard, majestic almost.

So I drive down to the local tech shop and suavely tell them my "Motherboard" is fucked. Never have I felt so "in" before. All the techies eyes lit up as they saw potential for a good, enlightened conversation. Unlike the rest of the computer illiterates out there. It didn't take me long to disappoint.

So whats the problem?

My computer wont boot up I've been told its the Motherboard.

Well what happens when you turn it on?

I dunno, all I see the is words DELL. I've tried pushing every button, usually the ones that make a nice fist shape. Still nothing.

Well its probably about $250-300 to fix.

$300? That's how much I paid for the computer! I knew I should have listened to that guy from Dodgeball! PC's suck.

We can save all your files for $150.

If I wanted to pay for my music I would have done so in the first place. Never will I have faith in the Motherboard again.