Hey There Lil Fella!

Theres a new fashion statement cursing the nation and all the boys are jumping on board. The DickDo. With video games and masturbation mainstreaming the minds of today's young men, the need for any other stimulation or physical activity is futile. What more exercise does a guy need than a good jerk, or maybe a game of Wii bowling. Hard is it now to find a man with a bulge below the belt bigger than the one above.

I myself once rocked the Dickdo but have recently reacquainted myself with "Mini-me". I found it frustrating holding my bladder till I got home so my girlfriend could undo my buckle while I held my gut up. How all these single Dickdos got by is a mystery to me! A man can only wear joggers and sit to pee for so long before you start losing dignity. I originally made excuses for keeping my gut...

Hey, I float better.
I can eat more food in one sitting.
I have a girlfriend I don't need to be in shape.
220lbs is the new 180.

But no matter how many times I tried to convince myself I wasn't in that bad of shape Jake Gyllenhaal would be staring at me from the cover of GQ calling me a fat tub of shit. So I cut back to 5 Rotten Ronnie visits a week instead of 12, used butter instead of bacon grease on my toast, and declined having those 3rd and 4th plates and the Chinese buffet.

As a reformed supporter of the Dickdo I am now pleading to all current Dickdos that there is a better way of life out there. Sitting to pee isn't equal rights, its just embarrassing. Regain your pride and boldly reach for your pecker from a standing position with full confidence it is within reach. No longer will your belt buckle give you stitches. And please God, save the joggers for your workouts boys.